I'm All Meshed Up

Bladder Mesh Surgery Gone Wrong

How on earth did MESH become my passion…..

So, after much trepidation and loss of sleep the prior evening over doing the TV interview yesterday, I have learned something new about myself that actually blows me away!
I have never liked being in the limelight, I am more of a “behind the scenes” type of person, email or call me and I will move mountains for you, but please don’t ask me to speak in a public forum. So when this opportunity for the interview presented its self, I had a series of mini nervous breakdowns! I was mortified at the thought of putting myself out there publicly, it is one thing to sit here and type out my inner most thoughts and not give it a second thought, but it is quite the opposite to do it for a TV interview! I had a dilemma and was not sure I could go through with it.
The defining moment for me was a very plain simple question to myself, “Am I able to live with myself if my voice is not heard to stop the senseless use of mesh and more women are debilitated for life”? the answer was simple, “NO”… I could not quietly sit back and watch anymore as it would forever be a regret that I did not help someone and could have possibly saved them from a life time of hell. That was the moment I told myself, quite sternly might I add, that I HAD to speak up, I have a moral obligation to spread the word.
Now, with speaking my mind comes the not so obvious fact that there are things I can and cannot say for legal reasons, so I promised my Lawyer I would not discuss anything legal, give any specific information regarding Dr’s, Specialists, Surgeons or most importantly the Manufacturer of my device. Everything at present is hear say until proven otherwise. However I still have freedom of speech regarding my life pre mesh and post mesh. The floor was mine for the taking and to be very honest, I LOVED that moment of opening my heart to men and women warning them of the dangers of mesh. It was empowering to tell them to do their research and home work prior to any mesh involved surgery. I hope I projected my plea emphatically enough to change some minds.
The other thing that came to mind after this interview was the fact that I VERY much enjoyed the whole process! I liked being on camera, I liked projecting my voice to the world, I LOVED putting myself out there in hopes that I can change someones life. Wow, that was the most surprising aspect of this whole mesh mess…I have found a new calling in my life, I will not lay down and be quiet any longer, I will respect my Lawyers wishes so as to protect myself, however no where in our conversation did my Lawyer say I could not speak my heart in a political forum!
 Ok, that was my new avenue to bring this to the attention of the governmental bodies involved.
This morning I got up with new resolve and decided it was time to ruffle some Government feathers! I emailed my local MLA, my MP and the PM of Canada. I also emailed the Minister in charge of HRSDC, CPPP disability falls under this umbrella. Its time to make my voice even louder, I am incensed at the way I have been completely disregarded as a human being and a tax paying one to boot. Someone dropped the proverbial shoe on this and I plan to get to the bottom of it.
When I retired due to medical reasons, my goal was to write a book regarding my Brain Cancer journey with my husband…never in a million years did I think my life would be so completely and utterly turned upside down by mesh, but from this I have learned that I CAN and WILL stand out publicly and voice my concerns and opinions.  I will not rest until we have stricter laws in place regarding the testing of medical devices and I will not be “assimilated” to the mainstream norm of keeping your mouth shut. I am not that person anymore, I have found a strength within myself I never knew I had, I have found a cause that is so passionate to me it has enveloped my entire world and I am convinced that I can make a differnece…somewhere along this journey I found my self-esteem and self-confidence again and it feels good to know I am back on the right track fighting for all the mesh injustices to be resolved.
I have always believed that through adversity comes strength and that you must walk through the eye of the storm to get to the other side…you can not side step the storm because guaranteed it will always come back to bite you in the….well, you know where!
So, today marks the start of a new journey for me and I am comfortable in the knowledge that I can do this….

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