I'm All Meshed Up

Bladder Mesh Surgery Gone Wrong

Round one may have gone to Mesh, but all the other rounds are gonna go to ME!!!

on August 23, 2012

It’s been a bit since I have written and so much has happened its time to settle into a blog about Mesh and life.

I had my bladder surgery June 21/12 and am still trying to recover which is proving to be more difficult than I had expected. It literally has knocked me flat on my back which I don’t think I fully understood the recovery process until AFTER the surgery was done! Maybe that’s something I should have looked into a little further so I would have been prepared and I guess what I have learned from this is be educated and prepared for anything that can happen, usually will happen.

Mobility has been a huge issue for me due to pain from the surgery which is already in a “delicate” area and then having 2 bum knees has certainly not helped at all. I have for the most part been house bound which I am not liking at all but I am trying to find my patience which is NOT my virtue. So I am having to dig deep and tap into the patience I know is in me somewhere!

I just went through a really bad bladder infection which landed me in the ER and then 5 days of IV antibiotics as an outpatient. I am very limited to antibiotics because of my “Multiple Drug Allergy” syndrome so when I have antibiotics, they have to be given to me by IV in a “controlled” environment. It was a horrible 5 days as the medication kept building up and building up so each day was worse than the previous. I was having violent headaches, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, fevers, rashes and complete exhaustion. I finished two days ago and now we are waiting for the test results to hopefully show the infection is gone, if not, its back to the hospital I go.

During all of this I saw a new Dr, a Rheumatologist. She was by far, hands down, the BEST Dr I have ever had the pleasure of meeting! She was very personable, listened to me, read through all the paperwork I gave to her, she was compassionate and kind, she made me feel like a person, not a mesh number assigned to me by who else, the medical profession. She spent 2 hours with me and one full hour was a physical, I have NEVER had a physical like that in  my life to date!

She has confirmed 2 disease’s and has ordered so many blood and X-Rays I swear it will take me a day to do! But, if they are going to point us in the right direction to getting me back on my feet, I am more than happy to be poked and prodded! She has already told me she has no issues with writing whatever letters I require for various “financial” aides that are available to disabled people who she said unfortunately I do fall into that category. I am thrilled she is on board with all of the unresolved issues and hope that the “powers that be” listen to what is true and do the right thing!

I have been filled with anxiety lately which is directly attributed to my health issues…I am trying to find my “zen” through Guided Meditation CD’s which are helping a bit. Finding peace in your life when it is clearly “meshed” up is difficult because it is easy to slip into the “whoa” me category even though you clearly do not want to feel or be like that. It takes a lot of discipline to try to stop it before it happens and even more discipline to get back up when you have slid down the wrong side of the mountain.

I am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life…my kids are hands down the best…I try not to tell them to much as they worry but my daughter has a way of getting it out of me and then she worries herself sick. I would like to give a HUGE shout out to some very special people in my life who over the course of the past week have helped me through my IV treatments by driving me back and forth to the hospital, picking up groceries for me, making me chicken soup, making sure my tomato plants don’t die and listening to me when the fear took over! So a huge THANK YOU to Cindy, Sara and Carrie!!! you guys are awesome and I could never repay you for all that you have done…You guys are awesome and I hope that one day I can do the same!

I am really looking forward to next week, James is heading home and I can’t wait! I really need to be with him right now, he inspires me to keep fighting and to never give up HOPE. He also makes sure I eat properly by way of his funky green and orange protein drinks! Ok, maybe I am not looking forward to that part but it comes from his heart and its his way of making sure we are covering all bases, so as much as I complain about his concoctions, I do drink them…

Despite all the crap in our life with Mesh, we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of 2 new babies to the family!!! We can’t wait for the birth of our second grandson and the birth of my nieces baby boy!

When you are in a world of turmoil you have to step outside of the turmoil and be thankful for all that is in your life, you can’t let the turmoil take over your life. We have many many things to be thankful for and although mesh plays a huge role in my life right now, it is not the only role…its up to me to make sure I am conscious of that on a daily basis.

Life is what you make it and I refuse to make my life about MESH…I write about it, I advocate and educate it but it is not WHO I am. I am a woman very much in love, I am a Mother who would go to the ends of the earth for my kids, I am a Nana and that is the best “hat” I have ever worn, Lily is my reason to fight so hard, she is the brightest light in my life, I am a friend which sometimes not a very good one when I am trying to just get through the pain, I am an Aunt who loves all of her nieces and nephews to death and most importantly of all, I am a FIGHTER and that will never change…





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